Love Sealed With Lies!

Lost from within
pursuing a tiresome journey
full of hurt and pain
struggling and wrestling…
what do I fight for?
to be lied to again…

smothered and trampled
loved and cuddled
it's a crazy spell that you had me under
how will I heal this heart
that feels like it would
never beat again is what I wonder

Whacky Wishes!

I wish ‘You and I’ were alone
And away from this freeze
Me putting my feet up in the air
And smelling the morning breeze…

I wish you would be the gentle wind
That brushes off my fears…
Massages all my worries away
And helps me unwind these tears…

I wish…I wish to feel smaller
Under your sheets
I wish for the whole truth
Every time you speak!

I wish I could stop watching you arrive
smoke cigarettes and sleep...
I wish I could put an end to this
ordeal that makes me weep!

I wish all these wacky wishes would come true!!

Have a FAT Purse on VALENTINE'S!

Some of you (the few who read) might have noticed that it’s been long since I posted something worthwhile to read. Take my apologies, but life has taken a front seat to my blogging activities for the time being. But the important thing is that I just didn’t disappear from the face of the earth, right? And I do expect to come back to blogging in the future. But for the time being, consider me on a long vacation (probably basking in the sun in Honolulu) J.

Okayyyy.. I’ll put my blahs aside. I was doing a bit of browsing the other day and came across this contest on the site called Sulekha.com. Trust me, up until recently, I was never in for these writing contests whatsoever. But this one caught my attention and I thought of sharing it with you all out here. This is an online writing contest for this Valentine’s Day where you can blog and win exciting prizes. And if am not wrong, the winner bags a cash prize of Rs. 2000 plus dinner-for-two coupons and the 8 runner-ups will get a cash prize of Rs. 1000 and dinner-for-two coupons each. Here’s your way to go!

Now all you got to do is, close your eyes for a minute to think about your loved ones and your feelings for them and turn those thoughts into words (a lovely short story or a sonnet for your beloved). So get your creative juices going, create a font of fresh ideas and make sure you grab those exciting prizes!

And hey, you not only get to pay your bills, but winning this competition will certainly buoy the spirit of a romantic heart such as yours. I’ll stop droning now and let you get on to the good stuff! I sign off with the pleasure of showing you the way to have a fat purse and a romantic day out on Valentine’s. Good luck guys.

Forbidden Love!!

Exceptional guilt!!

I see in your eyes

Your love lost inside of you

It hasn’t always been this way

There were brighter days

It’s so cold now.. so freezing cold..

can’t take it any more…

My soul is wrapped in chains

As fear grips me

I live in a dark land

among the lifeless

listening to the voices in my head

Hoping for salvation from this sin called love

can’t it take any more…

I am not usually this bold

But let it be known -

I would kill to make you mine.

But I give up… give up

For fear of holding you

a prisoner all my life

can’t take it any more…

There is a warm streak

That I see

Come to ease my soul again

To forbid the love

My savior; my solitude

for it to regain

And for bliss to remain!

Feels so good..I have just been AWARDED!!

Yippeeeee!! I have just been awarded this errrrr.. ‘Brilliant Weblog Award 2008’ by blindwreck and am already on cloud nine!! Now that’s both a gift and a curse.. gift becoz this is my first recognition as a blogger, curse becoz I have also been tagged for this write-up.. blog… whateva... And meself being a lazy ass of the first order, you know how it feels to sit and write.

I started this blog thingy as a lark, but when I read some of blindwreck’s, sansmerci’s and praveen’s.. mannn I found meself sucked in.. hooked.. would sound better :P And that’s how it started.. thanks to blindwreck for it was she who introduced me to the blogging world…sometimes I feel like blogging like crazy.. blog on everything I see and do.. but then, it becomes so difficult!! I hardly get time prune my finger nails nor do I get some time to run on a treadmill and reduce my belly that seems to be growing prosperous off late, seriously am not kidding. hey don’t think am bugging you guys, because that’s exactly what I intend to do he he.. relaaxxx and read on.

I come home from office completely pissed off (note that!!!) by 8.30.. then pet my doggie.. give him a towel bath.. wash his things.. talk to mum all the while listening to her tantrums about the doggie, then run on errands for her.. then have dinner.. man, by the time I get settled, am a dead person… am also kinda doing multitasking at times, standing on a tub of warm water to soothe my tired legs, ironing my clothes and simultaneously talking to my bf who needs talking. oooooff.. it’s all so hectic. Shud I tell you more??? (now that isn’t going to stop blindwreck from calling me a fairly lazyyy blogger lol..)

Well well.. don’t want to bug you any more with my blahs.. will stop there!! I thank blindwreck for nagging and tagging me J and also for the prestigious award she has bestowed on me :P Thanks girl.. here you go.. I award it back to you!! Muahs… and take that too!!

Have a look at the award: sexy isn’t it???

Here are some rules:

* When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back.
* Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.
* Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with ‘Brilliant Weblog Award'.
* Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional).
* And pass it on!

Listen, I know only three people on blogspot and it’s not fair to ask me to tag seven. I will stop with the three I know. And sorry about that.

Here u go:

blindwreck – her post ‘She’ on Sulekha is her masterpiece. She has a great writing style, but unfortunately she is also lazy like me (birds of the same feather flock together you see… She is going to kill me for this!!)

uniq – doubt even if he is going to read this.. but still..

praveen - a poet-blogger who often receives high praise from me for his absorbing multiple-meaning poems.

sansmerci - a must-read blogger who always impresses me with her casual writing style.

That’s it!! The people who read this can consider themselves tagged for having the patience to come this far. I appreciate that. Cya..

My Silence is Born With Me

My silence is born
with me - within me
consoles me
all the time
And I used to love
This silence

but now, a thunderous silence
some unforeseen one
comes from nowhere
and tries to break through my thoughts
and fills my mind and spirit

this silence speaks with me
in a language
that my heart interprets
but my mind
fails to relate

This silence torments me
day and night
with eyes that speak
I try to move away from it
But it fills my mind
With strange feelings
And with reflections of darkness
It attracts me to it.
with these disturbing thoughts,
I try to steal myself away -
inside myself, I try to take cover
And I cry silent tears
Unable to break away!

Fear of the Unknown

Getting up from my corner
i embark on my pink beauty
listen to my favorite music
keep driving
smiling at the kids
on the way
enjoying the pleasure
of riding alone
with the soulful breeze
flowing through my hair
gently brushing my face
i drive towards home
a pleasure ride!

I get an eerie feel
i look back
only in time
to see the darkness
unfold and chase me
this dark feeling
always chases me
wherever I go
no matter whatever I do
I can’t get it
out of my mind

I ride on
and it rides with me
slowly overtaking me
and penetrates me -
all the while whispering
strange words into my ears
i get that fear – a fear of this unknown
fear of losing my grip
fear of losing myself to it
i ride faster and faster
to reach home
before it grasps me
and takes me over completely!

But this darkness
shrewd as it is
outdoes me
and spreads before my eyes
blanking out the lights
and the blaring honks
until I see nothing but darkness
and silence folds in
with no music
to my ears
i give in to this darkness
i give in to this silence
without putting up a fight
i surrender myself!

Broken Strings!

I sit on the porch
Waiting to see your face
Counting the minutes
And watching the
strangers pass by
For a minute
I think I saw you
But no, it was not you.

All fully clad up and neat
My sari neatly folded
Into pleats
with strands of flower
that adorn my dark hair
with kohl-lined eyes
that’s all for you
I sit there all alone
Waiting for you.

I see you
in the distance
My heart jumps with joy
As you draw near
There is no smile
And that gives me a fear
You reach me
and look at my dress
and your words
Hit me like thunder
“Whom are you trying to impress?”

I sit all alone
Once again
My emotions are all
running in circles
thinking what should I do
your words always
causing me pain and regret
which I am not able to forget

I wish I could just
push these feelings off
out of my way
I’ve tried and tried to do this
But the more and more I try
I just realizehow hard it is.

Those never-ending promises
Ring in my ear
All carried away forever
As if by thin air
With bitter accusations
deluded perceptions
YOU crushed it all
And it’s all gone forever!

I leave you alone
To make you realize
what’s your fame
Yet you sit there
In my mind and spirit
Making me cry
when I hear your name!

I crumbled for good

Your face moved
smiled in a faceless crowd
I smiled back
and it truly showed
what I felt inside.

I was a rock
until you came
and broke me
into pieces
I crumbled
Letting myself go
With the flow.

My heart
beats so fast
when I look
into your eyes
I realize
That all I need is
to be your wife.

I count on you
to stay and gather
what’s left of my world
and to grow old
together for I know
that one day
I’ll make a story to be told.

I am not alone!

He says
He was a flirt
telling jokingly
to girls he loved them
could not make any
binding contracts
And he always got away
with his histrionic gestures
Until he met me
To whom
He never used
those three words

He says all this
to me; to one
who has learnt
to mistrust
but somewhere
at some point
I began to trust
that he is
remotely serious

I sit and listen
to him
talk for hours.
And as he speaks-
I focus on his words
And the way his mouth
makes those sounds.

I know I'm not
meeting his eyes
and he can tell I'm staring
and he humors me
relentlessly
and we pretend
we are having
a casual talk.

The percussion of his
lips and teeth
the piano strings
of his tongue
the squeak of the wind
escaping the corners of his mouth
take their turns sounding out
and somehow their music
turns into thoughts
and ideas
and feelings.

I do speak sometimes
But he lets my words
To be few
and eventually I learn
to appreciate and listen.
His wild talk
sometimes puts me into ennui
sometimes takes me with it
on gentle waves of reassurance
that blows the winds of change my way
and all my fears unwind
until I learn -
I am not alone!